...To find myself a mail-order bride of some sort. Well, that's probably a bad way of putting it, but you get the idea. Preferably Filipina (you know, since they speak English and maybe I want to learn Tagalog) or Thai (since, well, I do like the spicy food).

I might consider Chinese or something, though. My learning Chinese probably won't really help there, though, since it's likely they wouldn't speak fluent Mandarin in the boonies of China (apropos of nothing, "boonies" comes from the Tagalog word for "mountain," something I just discovered recently, you know, reading up on this).

I've been doing lots of research, and I've decided that this is a good idea.