I've been getting a lot of calls lately. Mostly, they suck, because they're usually about you-know-what (although it's much easier to talk to my brother, who I've talked to more than anyone -- he's in exactly the same bad place I am right now, and that takes off a lot of the pressure that I have talking to other people, getting past the sympathy and such -- it's appreciated, but is also a constant reminder of why it's there in the first place. Sometimes it's gotten so bad that I've gotten completely stressed out about it).

But I've gotten a lot of random calls from numbers I don't recognize. Of course, I don't answer them, and they don't leave messages, so I have no idea who they really are. I'm pretty sure that I don't have any friends or relatives in Orlando (I've gotten multiple calls from one number there), and while I have a friend or two in Phoenix, I don't know if that's them. For all I know, they're ambulance chasers who haven't gotten through my brother (apparently the accident has gotten a fair amount of news time in Kansas City, and that's made the ambulance chasing even worse than it might ordinarily be).

I suppose being alone tonight was a bad thing. I want this all to be over.